Emma: 7 months & 8 months

Um....somehow I missed Emma's 7th month! Boo! :( Sorry, Emma dear! So, here we are - Emma is 8 months old!!!

She is such a light in our lives. Before she was born, we faced a very dark hour in our lives, and were looking forward to the "joy that comes in the morning" season we were sure was to follow.

 Unfortunately this year is continuing to be a difficult one. Such dark hours. I thought that the joy would replace the trouble and pain - but I'm seeing that the "morning season" I wrote about is not something to "arrive" at - but rather a daily experience, through the pain, by God's grace...and our little Emma reminds me of that. So often I go to get her up from a nap, and she greets me with this gigantic grin. It goes straight to my heart & soul, and gives me JOY, and HOPE, and a reason to keep on! (Jesus of course is the only thing worth living for - but she is a gift from Him, and something He has given me to take care of!) Thank You Father, for Emma Bliss!

Emma's personality is just blooming! She has become so very aware of everything and everyone around her. She laughs, grins, is shy etc. - and makes the most adorable scrunched up face! It's like a smiling sneezing face...eyes tightly shut and nosed crinkled. It's almost like she's trying to smile more, and instead get's that face!

She has become VERY attached to Mama, and cries for me/when I go out of the room or she sees me! :) I like it. :)

She sat up right around her 7 month birthday, which is JUST like Patrick!!

She does a little "hand thing" like Nicolas did! Mostly when she's excited or upset!

She has been SQUEALING a lot lately! So loud and adorable!

She pants with her mouth wide open when she is excited about something!

We still can't pin-point the color of her eyes! They change....blue-ish, dark, hazel....who knows where they'll end up!

At 7+ months, Emma had an allergic reaction to banana. She'd tried it maybe 5 times already, but was VERY hungry for them this one particular time. When she finished I turned her around (she had been in my lap) and saw spots around her mouth. I was at once concerned, but wasn't sure if it was something serious yet. I gave her a bath, and noticed a few spots on her belly. Overall though, she was not worse, and the spots on her face seemed to have diminished, so I put her to bed. A few hours later I was checking on her, and accidently woke her up. I decided to ask James to turn the light on so I could check on her, just in case, and when he did I saw that she had gotten a rash on her neck. Upon taking her PJ's off I discovered that the rash was on other areas of her body as well. James and I talked and called the pedi. By the time I was done feeding her, the hives looked worse, so we decided, based on Patrick's reaction as an infant, to take her in to Children's. We gave her some benadryl, and headed off around 11ish pm. Thankfully my dear friend Amanda was here for an extended stay, so we didn't have to wake up the boys/or just one of us go to the hospital.

Emma continued to get worse, but never had breathing trouble. Her neck swelled up pretty nasty, and her poor tummy, ear, underarms etc. were very nasty looking. Thankfully she didn't require epinephrine, but just got some more benadryl, another antihistamine and steroids. Not my fave for her, but she needed something to combat all that.

Needless to say her eating has been put rather on hold!

Emma can OOCH! She does this great swimming motion too - like the side stroke. Combining all that with rolling, she can go where she wants!

She loves to eat books and paper, if she can get her hands on them!

She loves to play, and interact with the boys.

The boys love her!

She is the sweetest baby!

She went on her first vacation to TN in July, and got to go on an anniversary trip with mama and Daddy!! What fun to have one-on-one time with her. She did amazingly, and was just as calm and cool as a cucumber-ready to sleep wherever we put her, hardly ever making a peep about anything. Just happy to play with whatever we gave her, even when up late or missing a nap etc.!

She gets very upset when you take things away from her.

She give kisses!! Big giant open mouth baby kisses! Love those!

She has a great grip. She is strong!

She went through a cuddle phase on our vacation, where she loved to sleep with us in our bed after nursing. It had been awhile since she had done that. It was so sweet and cozy!

She loves to play/tease - especially daddy! He taught her how to play the binky game, and she will all of her own accord put it in your mouth and pull it out! She also likes to kick daddy, and watch his reaction!

She loves to hit/bat things! She does it over and over, and thinks it's the greatest thing ever!

We love you so very, very much, Emma Bliss!! Your bright eyes and giant grin - your sweet, confident and sensing nature are so endearing to us. We are so glad you are in our lives!

My Best Friend

Seems like I never make posts about this guy anymore. :) Doesn't mean I stopped appreciating how wonderful he is, though! He is my partner on this wild ride of life, and I am so, so, so grateful for him. I love him so much more than I did when we were first married, and in so many more ways than I ever would have even realized were possible.

Every step of the journey, he has been there. We have faced each new trial or blessing together, and it has drawn us closer, and made our friendship and love stronger.

Thank You God for my wonderful, amazing, handsome, sweet husband! He is a gift from You that I do not deserve, and I am forever grateful.

James is a faithful man. Strong rooted in the Lord. When I think I can't, he says I can. He turns me to God, and listens to my questions without judging me. He always loves me. He forgives me.

Together is a wonderful place to be! James truly is my best friend. I love to spend time with him. I love to talk with him, laugh with him, cry with him. I love to watch movies with him and eat ice cream with him!!!

I LOVE YOU, JAMES EUGENE GALLAGHER!!

My Gifts from God!

I sure love my little babies!! They continually say the funniest and sweetest things. I want to remember them all!

I'm trying lately to remember how quickly my little ones will be grown and gone. I'm trying to stop and look them in the eye, put my arm around them and say something to make them feel special and loved....for indeed they are both!

I'm trying to hug them more, and focus on the HERE and NOW. It's hard when my mind is so fuzzy and crowded....but HERE is where I am, and where they are - and I don't want to look back years down the road and think, "Where was I? What were they like? Now look at these adults before my eyes! I miss the little years!"

These are the best years of our lives! Days we don't get back. So soon they will be grown. Thank You God, for THIS season, and these three precious kiddos!

Sayings & Moments To Remember....

Nicolas wanted chips. I told him when he was done with his food he could have some. He then cleared all his food off his plate onto the floor & exclaimed "Yay!!!" I told him no, to put them back on his plate to which he replied "Oh No!"

"Mama, did you know, when I take a shower, there isn't any music, so I just sing." - Patrick

"I haven't seen that book - that green one. What is it?" It's a book about raising kids. "From the dead?" - Patrick

Nicolas was whining & fussing about his hair being combed. I was talking to him about how maybe he needed to go to bed, because when people are tired they whine & cry about everything, and out of the blue he said "No! Hap-py!"

Patrick quoted Psalm 139 as "Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your president?" - Patrick

Nicolas called Mimi and Poppi on our toy phone. He said "Pop-pop! Mimi! Oh wow! Eat. Wow! Eat! Bye bye!"

"For he was wounded for our transmissions" - Patrick

Patrick crawled into bed with me & Emma one morning. After awhile he said "She's so cute! I'm glad she was born."

Emma was fussing one day, and Nicolas told her not to worry & cry about the storm (that's what he seemed to think she was crying about! :) ) because he was there! He says that often. "No worry. Me here!" He also tells me "No worry" about things that I'm telling him not to do, like standing in dangerous places......:)

"Daddy, please look at your facebook and see this bug. Bye." - posted with my help on FB along with a picture of a bug that Patrick wanted Daddy to see.

Messy Memories.....Patrick loves to put tape on ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. He taped paper on the fireplace and used it as an easel. He also likes to experiment with glue :)

One morning while trying to prepare for an event at my house, my children dropped a brand new toy penguin in the toilet, spilled their C drink 2x, N poured foot powder out all over the bathroom floor and smeared it on his toy piano, Emma spit up on me and the floor and P talked non-stop (or at least A LOT! :) )

Other messy adventures.....coloring on the couch, stabbing people with pretend violin bows, etc.....all compliments of my little 2 yr. old! :)

I called Nicolas a "shopaholic" (he LOVES to shop!) and after asking what one was, Patrick said he was a "Churchaholic" :) They have this joke between them about Sunday nights, when P & J go to Church and N, E and I shop....they say "ME - CHURCH! YOU - SHOP!" mixing it up where it's not correct. Then the other one says "NO! ME - CHURCH! YOU - SHOP!"

James & P went on their fist camping trip a while back. P was so excited he started watching for J an hour before J even gets off work!

"My bones are growing and are owie, so I think it's better to watch a movie." - Patrick ;)

Emma LOVES her brothers. She thinks they hung the moon! ;) Today she was grinning her head off at a VIDEO of Nicolas! (he was in bed. I think she missed them!)

Nicolas just recently started saying Patrick's name! I waited so long to hear it! It is absolutely precious and melts my heart. He says "Pa-chick." But, with that, "Bubba" went bye bye. He never calls him that anymore! :(

Patrick is reading everything!!! He has even started trying (sometimes successfully) to put together words we spell out! Having to watch what I leave around more now!

Musings on Change

Life is all about change, isn't it?

For instance, before I had been blessed with my 3 wonderful children, I was extremely picky about the way our bed was made. The sheets had to be perfectly arranged and smoothed AND tucked in. The comforter should be tucked under the pillows "just so."
Heh.
Now I feel elated just to get the bed made. Who cares if the blanket isn't tucked in underneath the comforter!

When I was first married, I could spend hours or days on a project. I could leave a project out half done and when I was ready to finish it, there was a pretty good chance it would still be where I left it.

Now I have so many hours & days worth of projects that I'd like to do, but no time to do them. If I start a project, it better fit into the time-slot of nap time, or else I'll have lots of "help!" (ie, my sweet little people carrying things off, dumping them in the wrong container, wanting to wear various clothes that are being sorted, etc. etc. etc!

Another thing. I am a "doodler." Or perhaps I should say I was.
How on EARTH did I find the time to sit around writing names, ages, birthdays, thoughts etc.?
I still am a doodler at heart. Occasionally I still will doodle something. I love little details, like the time my babies were born. I could sit around thinking about such things and "doodling" about them for a good amount of time. IF I had the time, that is! ;)

All these "little" seemingly un-important changes that occur throughout life & parenthood really work together (along with other things in life) to CHANGE the person we were. Continually. As our circumstances change, WE change. And we never stop changing.

It's quite something to think about. And here I am having the time to sit and think about it! Imagine that! I must not be as busy as I say I am! :)

Sometimes I miss the things I used to do, before my life was so consumed with surviving. (ie, keeping the house clean, keeping people fed & dressed, attempting to keep the bills paid, etc. etc.)
But yet, when I sit back and really think about what I did "then" and what I do "now"....you know.... "now" has a lot more value to it. It has a lot more depth. (and I'm not comparing a single life to a married life. That just happens to be where I'm at right now. I am in NO WAY saying a married life has more value and depth, just in case anyone was wondering. I happened to be a very frivolous single person, so getting married & having kids forced me to spend my time better ways! ;) and I still have a long way to go at spending my time wisely! )

Being with, raising, feeding, loving, etc. three beautiful, wonderful little people, who will, Lord willing, one day grow up into adults....being married to my best friend in the whole, wide world. Sharing his heart & his life.....It's all so worth it.
Who cares if I never have a perfectly made bed again. Or if I have perfectly organized tubs & scrapbooks. Who cares if I ever get to doodle again.
I'm living out the things I could be sitting by & doodling about!
Thank You God for this beautiful life!

Busy & Stressed!

I'm sitting in our living room. One of my little boys is cuddled up on the couch, sleeping peacefully under his sister's pink blanket; his little blue monkey lovey beside him. Outside the sun is playing hide & seek with the clouds, and the birds are chirping. Inside beautiful music is playing. My other little boy is out with his Daddy. My little girl is sleeping.
I am a little weary, and tears could easily find their way onto my cheeks if I let them.
The past week has been a little hard.
But I know I am blessed, and that God is good. In faith I trust Him to take care of us, no matter what comes our way.

Since my childhood, I have experienced terrible bouts of almost paralyzing fear. Sometimes over small things, sometimes over nothing. Just a terrible sense of dread & fear.

Recently I felt like God was peeling a giant layer off of the "onion" of my fear. I was having amazing, new found victory & understanding of the freedom I can have in Christ.

Then it seems that everything in my life started falling apart. Right now life is so difficult, and I am discouraged.
I feel like I am living a bad dream right now, or am part of an Alfred Hitchcock movie.

From the cars breaking, to potty-training (which is going really well, but makes my life A LOT more hectic....) to feeling like I run from one person's need to another all day long, to tight finances to our family having some strange sickness, to getting rear-ended last week etc. etc. - it all feels like too much.

God knows that I am a fearful person. He knows that I hate, hate, HATE my children to be sick. I worry like crazy about them, and am sure they are going to die - from even a simple fever!
but God does not give us more than we can handle or bear. He never leaves us or forsakes us. All things work together for good to them that love God, who are the called according to His promise. I am His & He is mine. His grace is enough. His mercies are new every morning.

I guess this is just another layer being peeled off. The process is painful, but in the end we will be better off for the "trails" we have gone through.

speaking of being "refined" - my life is SO crazy busy lately, and I find myself in the oddest situations! Some of them are SO HARD, but when you step back from them & look at them in a different light, they are hilarious!

Here's a few of the "exciting" things that happened today:'
1) right now, due to our strange sickness we are bathing 2x a day, and bathing each of the kids separately, washing the tub in-between. Do you know how long that takes? And afterwards, I have to put all kinds of various medicines on them (which they hate...it's painful) so they cry and scream and try to run away from me. I spend a couple of hours doing this lovely process each day, morning & evening.

2) Today while doing school with Patrick, I happened to glance over at Nicolas who had been happily playing. He was standing very still & serious beside me. Suddenly it dawned on me what he was doing, but it was too late. The first accident in about a week, so not too bad, but OH what a mess. I had to leave P in the middle of his school & Emma in her bouncy chair, screeching on and off (it's her new thing, not sure why. Sometimes she seems to be doing it in an almost happy way, other times upset!) Poo was on Nicolas, his pants, the potty & the floor before we were all done "cleaning up." Did I mention we're trying to keep everyone and everything extremely clean right now due to the sickness we have?

3) At lunch nothing looked "yummy" to me. All the easy options weren't very healthy. Emma was screeching & I was working on getting the boys food WHILE pulling stuff out of the pantry so it could be cleaned/re-organized (it was such a mess!) so I kept walking back and forth working on the boy's food & the pantry, trying to figure out what I was going to eat. I had been eye-ing the pop-tarts, but trying to resist them. Finally I gave in and put them in the toaster. Quick & Easy & Yummy. But bad for me. Oh well.
The toaster was on the lowest setting and I went off to do whatever it is I do all day, forgetting the pop-tarts AND our toaster which tends to burn things (even on the lowest setting)
Soon I heard a "pop" and there was my "lunch" - burned pop-tarts. UGH!
Meanwhile boys kept playing, laughing and "fighting" at lunch. I was still running around trying to do stuff, and Emma needed to eat, so I left them at the table & plopped down on the couch. (which had no cushions, thanks to the boys. They had used them in their mass destruction of the house earlier) I was so weary, and so discouraged. Calls of "Nicolas is bothering me!" Laughs etc. kept wafting into the living room. Finally, from the couch I threatened them with spankings & naps, and they quieted down.
When "lunch" was over & I was cleaning up & preparing to read to the boys, I finally gave in and ate one of the burned pop-tarts.

4) I was trying to juice vegetables and make dinner and ref. three kids. One needed to eat again. Of course there were a couple potty trips. More hand-washing & potty washing. Then I cut my finger AGAIN in almost the exact same place as last week. My phone was rang. Then it rang again. Then Skype rang. James was late. Nicolas was outside playing & it began to thunder. Patrick cried because Nicolas took his duplo building apart. I was trying to stop my finger from bleeding, put on a bandaid, juice, make dinner etc. etc.!

Yes, it was a crazy day! I find myself thinking that more and more often these days. Perhaps it is just my "new normal." We shall see. Life is an adventure. And every night I look down at three beautiful, sleeping children, and I feel so peaceful & blessed.........Then I go to sleep & repeat all that chaos the next day! LOL!

Thank You God, for everything You bring my way!

More on Emma Bliss

Emma is a pure joy! So appropriate that her middle name means "Joy" or "Perfect Joy!"
She is such a sweet, sweet little baby! Up to this point she has been very laid back, which is a major gift from God! :) She has even been sleeping ridiculous amounts of time at night so far!! Not sure if it will last, but it has been LOVELY!!
I am so in love with her! She has grown so much already. Her looks have changed, and she is SO alert!! She has been such a somber, thoughtful little thing since day one! She has been smiling A LOT lately! It's SO sweet!
She is very dainty. She folds her hands so sweetly, and moves her beautiful long fingers in such a girlie way!
It feels very different having a girl. The love isn't more or less than it is for the boys - it's just different. I felt like the boys were my little dolls, but Emma feels even MORE like a doll I'm playing house with! It must be the little pink clothes, hair bows & frilly socks! I don't know.
I feel so happy and blessed to have three beautiful, healthy children. I love having two boys & one girl! God has given me such a gift in granting me my youthful dreams of boys & then a girl!
Thank you, God!

Some things to remember about Emma and her first month:
* She has slept about 7 hours at night since her first days.
* She is so laid back, and when she does get upset, her cry is usually fairly soft (it reminds me of a dog sometimes!) and she is easy to console. Her favorite thing is to be close to someone, or all wrapped up in a blanket!
* She LOVES to sleep. So like James here. She sleeps all those hours at night, then sleeps until about 9 or 10 after eating earlier! She has such a hard time waking up. In her early days it could take about 30 min. to wake her up, and when she was awake, she could easily drop back off to sleep.
* She loves to be carried about in the moby. She conks hard & sleeps long. Also the same for sleeping on her tummy or after a bath. SO tired after a bath!
* We swaddle her at night only so far.
* She wasn't a huge fan of the binky, although she would take it some. She is getting more used to it (for better or worse! But it does help to soothe her, so I say for better!) Sometimes she makes a horrible face when it's put in her mouth, and spits it out. She also will sometimes use it for a while, fall asleep & then lose it.
* Her brothers love her to no end, and are often coming right up in her face and kissing her. They love to hold her. Nicolas talks high pitched to her, and Patrick speaks so sweetly & comfortingly to her. Other times they both just laugh and laugh at her!
* I love seeing James with her! So glad he has a daughter now, too.
* At times her faces remind me of a mouse or a turtle.
* She eats usually every 3 or so hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less. She isn't very demanding about it, which is good and bad.
* at one month she seemed to take more interest in her mobile!
* Her eyes are blue right now. A deep, beautiful blue. Such eyes! the looks she makes are most amazing. She is an amazing person!
* The pack 'n play bassinet is working quite well for her to sleep in, in our room. She is our only baby to sleep exclusively in our room this long. I usually don't sleep well with babies in my room, and although they do either at first, or later end up spending a lot of the night in our room (in our bed) they usually were officially moved to their room earlier than one month, I think. I love looking over the bassinet at her. This is such a precious, short time!

More on Emma's name:
I feel like God has given me a specialness to her name. At first I didn't feel that "connection" that I've felt before about a name. The meaning was nice, but It just felt like something was missing.
About 2 weeks before Emma was due, something happened in our life. It was a life changing event, and through it, the Lord did some work in our hearts. After working through all that some, Emma Bliss' name suddenly "clicked" a lot more for me.
Emma has various meanings. The one we have chosen to think of for her is "Complete."
Bliss means "Joy" or "Perfect Joy."
Earlier I shared some verses that I'd chosen to be "her verse," but I've found another one, and a song, that really mean something to me as far as her name, and what God did for me around the time she was born - and what God can do for her, and anyone else!

God is teaching me about freedom and forgiveness. The words to the hymn "It is well with my soul" say:
"My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord oh my soul!"
and that is what God showed me, when I was just weeks away from giving birth to our little Miss Bliss.
No matter what I've done, God can forgive me. My sins are nailed to the cross, and I bear them no more. Truly a blissful thought!
"Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY cometh in the morning" Psalm 30
Right before her expected arrival, we walked through a difficult time. It was a night season of our life, but we had the hope of something very joyful coming. - a new life coming to join us - morning was coming! and indeed, she has brought us such JOY!
No matter what we may go through, or face in our life, we can have COMPLETE forgievness, and live a life of COMPLETE JOY in our Lord! He is so good.

---------------
well, I'm off to spend the rest of my evening with my baby doll & my hubby. Btw - J has begun a new job! More on that later I hope!

Life & BabyEmma!

It's been an interesting week, to say the least....

God sent a lot of rain, which was good for the parched ground, but not so good for a leaky roof.
BOTH our cars (which are too small for our family after Emma's arrival) broke down.
The Vacuum Cleaner continued it's breakdown which has been occurring for awhile, resulting in us borrowing my MIL's.
Patrick had a reaction to something (probably cat hair on something from a thrift store) and his eye swelled up really badly.
and as usual, finances were stressful :)

throw in with that all the normal day to day stresses of dealing with children, schooling, housework, etc. etc. - it's been an interesting week, for sure.

Counting our Blessings though:
God provided us with some unexpected gifts of $ for groceries etc.
God provided someone to tow one of our cars, which broke down at James' job.
God provided rides for James after his car broke down, and a way for me to have the car one day, so I could grocery shop (and as it turned out, take Patrick to the doctor for his eye.)
God helped Patrick's eye to un-swell, and there were no other problems.
God provided a vacuum for us to borrow.
There has been no sickness (aside from the eye thing) this week. I hate sickness in my kids or hubby! So grateful everyone has been well.
Sunday School & The Sermon were very timely.....on trials & Grace.
We were able to take a good look inside our hearts, and evaluate what's in there :)
We have three healthy children, who keep us laughing every day! We sure love them.
I sure love my hubby, too. He's a keeper, for sure.

-------------------------------------------------
Aside from that, we are getting so close to Emma's arrival! I'm 33 weeks today. That leaves 7 more weeks! Not long, for sure!
I'm seeing my midwife, Dinah every 2 weeks now. Everything seems to be progressing the way it should.
I've reached the point of being ACHY and UNCOMFORTABLE! :) I asked James last night "Was I this miserable with the boys?" he said I was, and I forgot - and that I'll forget all this when Emma is in my arms, too :)
Sure can't wait for that day! I am so excited to have a little girl, and dress her up! I'm probably the most excited about HEADBANDS! Oh, I love them! I just want to put one on her cute little head and stare at her! (and take lots and lots of pictures!)
I'm anxious to see what she looks like, and if she has dark or light hair. I thought all my kids would have dark hair, but the boys proved me wrong! So, we say, maybe the girl will have dark hair? Who knows!
--------------------------------------------------------
Life with the boys is moving right along. Patrick is doing & enjoying school, and both are growing like weeds - and are SO MUCH FUN!
Patrick says the funniest things. On our way to Church one day we saw some cows, and P said "Why do people never take their cows to Church?.....If I grow up I'll have a cow Church. On the front it will say "Cow Church" and on the back "Cows learn about God""
One day Nicolas was touching the wall, and P said "Nicolas is being gentle to the wall! You don't have to be gentle to it Nicolas, because it's not real!!!"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fall teaching has started up. James works 12 hr. shifts at The Planet every Thur. Fri. and Sat., as well as e/o Wednesday. Then Church is Sunday, and James teaches/does the orchestra on Monday.
This year we had a child of a former conductor join the group! Some of my friends will remember the Fore family! So fun.
I wrote up a schedule for the days, and for what subjects we would do each day in school. I'm liking having them, although I'm pretty loose as far as some things are concerned.
Patrick "loves math" and he is doing so well with his phonics & reading! It's so exciting.
Nicolas loves Elmo. He calls him "La la" because of the song "Elmo's song" (on youtube, of course!)
-------------------------------------------
.....and that's about it. I am so grateful for the life God has given me. I am so happy to be married to James, and so grateful for the beautiful children God has given us.

Beyond what I could Ask or Think

Tonight my heart is full. I am blessed beyond what I could ever ask or even think.
God's way and will is perfect.

He is creative, and the variety of people and experiences that He puts into our life add so much "spice" to everyday ordinary things!

Like these two little boys:I always wanted a bunch of little boys. I love little boys. Little men, who one day will grow up and sweep some girl off her feet ;)

My boys are so different. They look different. They have different personalities. In a way they remind me of day and night. Could my heart love either one more? I could just eat them up!

I love my husband so much. God showed His tender mercy and love to me in giving me James.

From the time I was a little girl I felt something in my heart for him. But I was often distracted, and had a hard time making up my mind. But now, I know that there was no one else for me. God made us for each other, and I am so blessed by the unconditional love that my sweet James shows me daily! I am so glad to have him as my best friend and love for life!

Thank You God, for some of the sweetest gifts You have given me!

God is good!

The last two days have been a breath of fresh air - and I don't mean the weather, although today is indeed lovely.
Sunday was a bad day. By the evening I'd managed to get James in on the gloom and doom too, and we were mad at each other and hurt.
That night we got a HUGE pile of laundry folded, while talking it all out! :) (maybe we should fight more often? no, i think not. :) )
I have so many issues and problems at times it seems. Things from my past that bug me, or attitudes in the present that just make me a miserable person. James gave me some wonderful advice and encouragement.
All these problems and issues are TOO much for me to figure out and deal with - but God is totally able to, all I have to do is go to Him.
All the stresses of life are TOO much to deal with sometimes - but all I have to do is go to God and ask Him to help me.
The last two days He HAS. He has been so good to me. I feel such peace when I communicate with Him.
Thank You God - please help me to keep at it!

In other news, we took the boys to the doctor on Monday. They both have colds and coughs, but Nicolas didn't quite seem like himself, so we decided it would be better to go in. They both are ok at this point, I just hope they go uphill instead of down. RSV makes me nervous, yet I don't want to stay in all the time.....so at times when I go out, I feel guilty!
Nicolas now weighs 12 lbs. and Patrick 35!

James is still looking for a job. He's been home now for close to 3 weeks. Thankfully we got a pay-check on the 15th from his previous job. That was the last one, but we still have the violin lessons in the evenings bringing in some income - so God is providing for us! Someone from our Church was also so sweet and generous bringing us some beef and a chicken! What a blessing.
As far as the search for a new job, James has had several opportunities to talk with people/and or interview, including one call back. One option is right here in our town and we would both SO love for it to work out, but alas, they aren't hiring right now. Maybe in a few months. One perk to all this is that I get to see James in his suit quite a lot, due to interviews! :) He looks NICE!

Today was our shopping day. One trip to the bank, a stop at Kroger, then on to Walmart where Nicolas ate and had a dirty diaper while I was changing him (and he then got his clothes changed, too!) then we shopped in Wally's and headed home. After that I hurried to make something for us all to eat, then my parents arrived to visit/drop off some meat before leaving for CA - now the boys are resting/sleeping and James is teaching lessons.....and I'm resting, too. Tonight we eat Totino's Pizzas from Wally's, so my supper prep. is EASY! (ie, nothing - except I do have to make Patrick's food) so it shall be a more relaxed evening. Maybe I'll watch a movie tonight. Oh - and enjoy my caffeine free coke :)

Happy Wednesday! We're half way to the WEEKEND!

Tarry by His Promises

There are great and precious promises for those who will believe

and the children of the Father's love His gracious gifts receive.

When my outward strength is almost gone and I cannot bear the test

He assures me of the promises on which my faith can rest.

I'll tarry here by the promises and wait on the Lord

knowing each promise brings His sure reward

I'm holding fast to his promises not one word will fail

I'll focus on the mighty One whose promises prevail.

When I'm compassed round on every side and I cannot see his face,

when I wander dry and desert lands and search for streams of grace

When my heart is bound by grief and woe or robed in leaves of shame

by every promise in His word my Savior writes my name.

I'll tarry here by the promises and wait on the Lord

knowing each promise brings His sure reward

I'm holding fast to his promises not one word will fail

I'll focus on the mighty One whose promises prevail.

Not a pledge He gives He'll not redeem, not a hope He'll not fulfill

and where His finger points the way He'll show His perfect will

When the night is dark and the future veiled and my eyes long for the light

He will meet me where his promises shine brightly in the night.

I'll tarry here by the promises and wait on the Lord

knowing each promise brings His sure reward

I'm holding fast to his promises not one word will fail

I'll focus on the mighty One whose promises prevail.

("Tarry by the Promises" by Loren Elms - transcribed to the best of my ability - I may have messed up a few words!)

This is a beautiful song (I listen to it on the Knight Family's CD, and it's so lovely!) that has become very special to me, and is such an encouragement to me as we are facing these issues of Patrick's health.

It has been a long road, and it's longer still - and looking pretty complicated. It's something that often gives me a nervous feeling, and makes me feel like I might go crazy. It's all so complicated and overwhelming and difficult. I love my little boy SO much, and it's so hard to see him going through these things.

It's so hard for me to go through them, too. To not be overwhelmed and ruled by fear....to trust God with all the ins and outs - and ultimately with my son - who is, after all, just on loan to us from Himself.

I must trust Him, and tarry by His promises. He is faithful!

God's promises to me:

"I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." - Hebrews 13:1

"...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. " II Cor 12:9

"but (I) am faithful, (and)will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." I Cor 10:14b

"...My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:30

"(I have) not given (you) a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." II Timothy 1:7