More on Emma Bliss

Emma is a pure joy! So appropriate that her middle name means "Joy" or "Perfect Joy!"
She is such a sweet, sweet little baby! Up to this point she has been very laid back, which is a major gift from God! :) She has even been sleeping ridiculous amounts of time at night so far!! Not sure if it will last, but it has been LOVELY!!
I am so in love with her! She has grown so much already. Her looks have changed, and she is SO alert!! She has been such a somber, thoughtful little thing since day one! She has been smiling A LOT lately! It's SO sweet!
She is very dainty. She folds her hands so sweetly, and moves her beautiful long fingers in such a girlie way!
It feels very different having a girl. The love isn't more or less than it is for the boys - it's just different. I felt like the boys were my little dolls, but Emma feels even MORE like a doll I'm playing house with! It must be the little pink clothes, hair bows & frilly socks! I don't know.
I feel so happy and blessed to have three beautiful, healthy children. I love having two boys & one girl! God has given me such a gift in granting me my youthful dreams of boys & then a girl!
Thank you, God!

Some things to remember about Emma and her first month:
* She has slept about 7 hours at night since her first days.
* She is so laid back, and when she does get upset, her cry is usually fairly soft (it reminds me of a dog sometimes!) and she is easy to console. Her favorite thing is to be close to someone, or all wrapped up in a blanket!
* She LOVES to sleep. So like James here. She sleeps all those hours at night, then sleeps until about 9 or 10 after eating earlier! She has such a hard time waking up. In her early days it could take about 30 min. to wake her up, and when she was awake, she could easily drop back off to sleep.
* She loves to be carried about in the moby. She conks hard & sleeps long. Also the same for sleeping on her tummy or after a bath. SO tired after a bath!
* We swaddle her at night only so far.
* She wasn't a huge fan of the binky, although she would take it some. She is getting more used to it (for better or worse! But it does help to soothe her, so I say for better!) Sometimes she makes a horrible face when it's put in her mouth, and spits it out. She also will sometimes use it for a while, fall asleep & then lose it.
* Her brothers love her to no end, and are often coming right up in her face and kissing her. They love to hold her. Nicolas talks high pitched to her, and Patrick speaks so sweetly & comfortingly to her. Other times they both just laugh and laugh at her!
* I love seeing James with her! So glad he has a daughter now, too.
* At times her faces remind me of a mouse or a turtle.
* She eats usually every 3 or so hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less. She isn't very demanding about it, which is good and bad.
* at one month she seemed to take more interest in her mobile!
* Her eyes are blue right now. A deep, beautiful blue. Such eyes! the looks she makes are most amazing. She is an amazing person!
* The pack 'n play bassinet is working quite well for her to sleep in, in our room. She is our only baby to sleep exclusively in our room this long. I usually don't sleep well with babies in my room, and although they do either at first, or later end up spending a lot of the night in our room (in our bed) they usually were officially moved to their room earlier than one month, I think. I love looking over the bassinet at her. This is such a precious, short time!

More on Emma's name:
I feel like God has given me a specialness to her name. At first I didn't feel that "connection" that I've felt before about a name. The meaning was nice, but It just felt like something was missing.
About 2 weeks before Emma was due, something happened in our life. It was a life changing event, and through it, the Lord did some work in our hearts. After working through all that some, Emma Bliss' name suddenly "clicked" a lot more for me.
Emma has various meanings. The one we have chosen to think of for her is "Complete."
Bliss means "Joy" or "Perfect Joy."
Earlier I shared some verses that I'd chosen to be "her verse," but I've found another one, and a song, that really mean something to me as far as her name, and what God did for me around the time she was born - and what God can do for her, and anyone else!

God is teaching me about freedom and forgiveness. The words to the hymn "It is well with my soul" say:
"My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord oh my soul!"
and that is what God showed me, when I was just weeks away from giving birth to our little Miss Bliss.
No matter what I've done, God can forgive me. My sins are nailed to the cross, and I bear them no more. Truly a blissful thought!
"Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY cometh in the morning" Psalm 30
Right before her expected arrival, we walked through a difficult time. It was a night season of our life, but we had the hope of something very joyful coming. - a new life coming to join us - morning was coming! and indeed, she has brought us such JOY!
No matter what we may go through, or face in our life, we can have COMPLETE forgievness, and live a life of COMPLETE JOY in our Lord! He is so good.

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well, I'm off to spend the rest of my evening with my baby doll & my hubby. Btw - J has begun a new job! More on that later I hope!

Emma's Birth Story

I'm officially on the other side of labor and delivery now! Whew! :) So glad about that. I am sad to be done being pregnant, though. Of course I'm DELIGHTED to see my old un-swollen hands & feet, and feel "skinny" (after being 9 months & almost 2 weeks pregnant, even an after-preggo pooch feels "skinny"!!!) but I'm sad to be done being pregnant, and done carrying Emma inside me. It's such a special time. But now were on to a new phase, which is so sweet, too!
We are SO grateful to the Lord for bringing Emma safely to us. I had a lot of concerns about her and her birth, but the Lord took care of everything, and she is as "perfect" as a human can be ;)
I wasn't sure what to expect as far as labor. Nicolas' birth was so "easy" and quick - I had a hard time imagining that another labor could go so easily.
As it turned out, Emma's birth was much more intense than Nicolas'. Right after going through it, I thought "I sure don't want to do that again!" but just a few days later it seemed like yes, it was an extremely painful & difficult thing, but maybe just maybe I could do it again.
But, I must say, as all mothers know - any amount of pain that is gone through is totally and completely worth it in the end!
So without further ado - here is Emma's story! The day of our daughter's birth!

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When I first discovered I was pregnant with Emma (Feb. 19th) my original due date was October 30th.
After visiting with my midwife, I got an adjusted date of Nov. 1st, 2010. I thought I'd probably go late (as late as the 7th) but I still hoped for an early or on time baby!
But November 1st rolled around, and no Emma! I was actually quite surprised to be showing up at my 41 week appointment a week later. My midwife, Dinah, checked me for dilation on that day, and discovered that I was at a 1, and my cervix was very soft.
We discussed things and decided to basically just wait, but schedule a biophysical profile for Friday or Monday.
Thursday the 12th was a nice typical day. The boys and I even created works of art with watercolors. James got home around 8, and I discovered he was in a lot of pain from complications he has been dealing with for 2 weeks, due to an allergic reaction. He had been trying to deal with this on his own, but had been in extreme pain for so long, that I was fed up, and really just forced him to go to either CareNow or the hospital. It was a long night for both of us. James ended up getting a mega shot of antibiotic, and it didn't sit very well with him. He got home around midnight, but was again in extreme pain, this time from the shot. We were concerned also about some of the side affects he was experiencing. All that, combined with discomfort from being so pregnant, left both James and I with only a few hours of sleep.
My mom arrived around 6 that morning to spend the day, and I was up around 7:15 to get ready for the biophysical appointment at 9:30. James had taken the morning off work in order to come along.
I noticed that morning I was even more "uncomfortable" and that I was also getting some small, irregular contractions from time to time.
Emma's biophysical went well enough. She scored a 10 out of 10, but the doctor was still pretty concerned that she be born ASAP. He told me she was probably a 10 1/2 lb. baby!
After all that, James went off to work & my mom and the boys and I headed off to chick-fil-a for lunch. By the end of lunch I was very uncomfortable & thinking this might be the day. The contractions weren't very strong, but they continued throughout the day, which hadn't been happening up to this point.
We headed home for nap time around 2:30.
Around 4:00 Patrick and I got up and I put a movie on for him, and sat on my ball. I noticed that I was having some other indications that today could be "the day".
I started to feel emotional, and wished that James was with me. Contractions were still light, but coming sometimes every 5 min.
Around 4:30 or 5 I decided I should call James, as he had already told me that he wanted to know when I even felt "different" not just "in labor". So I called him, and he said he was going to leave early and come home!
I don't like to feel like a "watched pot" during labor, so I hadn't mentioned to my mom about the contractions, although she probably figured something was up, due to the many phone calls exchanged between James and I. :)
As I went about duties that evening, I noticed that my contractions seemed to stop, or become more irregular when I was up moving about.
My dad & Patrick vacuumed out the couch, which was a nice treat, then I sat down to feed the boys dinner & my parents left. By this point James had already called our midwife, who wanted another report after he had seen me. James also ran a quick errand, since we were completely out of toilet paper!
He arrived home around 6;30 bringing me some beautiful flowers! He then went and shaved, (he knows I like him shaved! :) ) and then took over getting the boys their bath & to bed. I sat on my ball some more, and surfed the web. I also talked with our midwife, and we agreed to talk again around 8 after the boys were in bed.
It seemed every time I sat on my ball (and bounced or moved about) the contractions would come again (about 5-10 min. apart, 20 or 30 seconds long) but sometimes they would go away, too - especially if I got up for a long period of time.
After the boys were in bed, James and I started to settle in and get something to eat. We talked with Dinah, and decided to just wait & talk again in an hour or two.
We then proceeded to watch lots of "Leave it to Beaver" while I bounced on my ball. The contractions picked up some, but still were quite manageable, and not much longer than 30 seconds each.
We would occasionally take a break from Beaver. I packed a few last min. things, James loaded the car, we talked, I took a few showers, since that helps so much with pain for me.
About 10:30 or 11 I was getting tired, and things didn't seem to be picking up much. I was starting to wonder if this was NOT the night, and I should just go to bed. I tried laying down, and still got a few contractions, so we decided to keep encouraging things along instead of going to bed.
About midnight I started timing the contractions better, and writing them down. James was still starving, since we hadn't really had a full dinner, so I encouraged him to go get something at McDonalds right down the street.
I was still struggling a lot with knowing when to go in to the birth center. I didn't want to go in if it was going to be hours, but I also didn't want to wait too long like last time (we arrived about 20 min before Nicolas was born!) It was especially important to me that we arrive with enough time, since I was positive for Strep B and had decided to go ahead with the antibiotics.
When James left, things changed for me. I'm such a strange person, I think I felt like when he was there, that I couldn't really show how I felt - or that I couldn't really figure out how I felt. I think I was afraid I might just be "trying" to be at a certain stage, and wasn't able to discern really where I was at.
BUT, when he was gone, and I was there googling "when to go to the hospital" and feeling the contractions all by myself I got a wake up call!
The contractions started to become much more uncomfortable, and were now about every 3 min. lasting 40 seconds or longer. James called me and said McDonalds had a REALLY long line, and he had left before even paying, and was now going to Wendy's. I didn't mention how I was feeling, but soon I called him back and said "I think you can call the babysitters now! I think it's time to go in!" Needless to say he HURRIED home! We waited about 15 min. for the babysitters to arrive. James called Dinah. I walked about, continuing to get stronger contractions.
Around 12:30 we left for the birth center.
In between contractions I was still able to laugh & smile & carry on a normal conversation. They did start to become a bit stronger as we neared the center. Thankfully we were able to drive at normal speed this time around, and arrived around 1 am at the birth center. My sweet hubby helped me out of the car, and we made our way into the beautiful "blue room" where already one of our precious 3 children had been born, and another was soon to be.
We were still chatting with Dinah and getting settled in when James' phone rang. He went out of the room, and much to my concern I heard him calling the POLICE! Soon he came back in and told us that a neighbor had seen our door open, then seen the babysitters coming in, so they called the police. When the police knocked at the door, the sitters called James, who then called the police - who then told James that it was an OFFICER who was at the door. So that drama seemed to be fine, and we went back to getting settled in for Emma's debut!
Dinah checked me between contractions, and much to my relief said I was dilated to a 6! I got on the ball again, and we all chatted between contractions. Dinah gave me my antibiotics (ouch! that hurt - and I had to get pricked twice due to my difficult veins!)
Awhile after this I started to feel like a change would be nice, so I got in the shower.
Soon after that (probably around 2 am now) I felt a funny pop, and realized that my water had probably broken! I've never had that before (We had P's water broken as a way to speed labor along and I never knew when Nicolas' water broke) I told James, who went and told Dinah, who hurried in to check on Emma. The water was rather discolored, but Emma's heart rate was great, so we continued on. Eventually James came and stood by the shower door and held my hand. I was so glad to have him there with me, as contractions were really picking up in intensity now.
At some point the assistant, Rose Marie arrived.
My contractions were getting much more intense, and I found moaning through them very helpful.
After awhile It became apparent that I was moving more into the pushing stage - the moans I as making were "pushing" types.
I felt that, and the midwives heard it, but I did not have any urge to push.
Probably around 3 am things really changed. I said I needed to get in the tub. I was feeling a big change towards pushing, yet I still didn't have that strong "urge" I'd had last time. The tub felt really good, and I thought I was about to settle in to a good position and push Emma out. I tried pushing through a contraction or two, but something wasn't clicking.
Dinah checked me, and said there was a small lip of the cervix still there. She suggested I try blowing through some contractions, which I did try, but found very difficult. They were SO strong, and the only thing I wanted to do was PUSH HER OUT with them. I knew though that the pushing really wasn't doing anything. It felt like she wasn't coming, and she never would. I started to freak out and say "I can't do it! She's too big! She's not going to come!" At this point everyone was going into high gear. They were all encouraging me that it WAS going to be ok. James was looking me in the eyes and telling me I COULD do it. Dinah suggested I come lay on the bed to be checked out, so I did.
I was in soooo much pain at this point, I couldn't imagine going on. I wasn't sure how much longer it needed to go on, and I feared the worst. I was very vocal during the contractions.
I laid down & Dinah told me she was going to try stretching the cervix while I pushed. She did this, and I pushed and pushed. It was about the worst pain I've even been in. I felt like I couldn't do it. If I did do it, I was going to die - but If I didn't do it, I was going to never get Emma out - so I decided to "give in" to the pain, and let it feel like it was going to kill me. James was right by my side encouraging me, as were Dinah & Rose Marie. I yelled & yelled throughout each contraction & pushing.
Soon Emma started to come. I felt her head, the burning, then the head was out. There was a slight wait between her head and the rest of her, which was a strange and uncomfortable feeling. From the time I really started pushing until the time she was born though, were only 3 minutes. They felt much longer! :)
At 3:48, out Emma flew, and after Dinah removed the cord that was wrapped once around her neck, our beautiful daughter was handed to me and brought up to my chest. I'll never forget the way James sounded right before/as she was being born. His voice was so full of emotion! We were both SO overjoyed as we saw her for the first time. We were amazed to see a head of DARK hair, too! We both talked to her and stroked her sweet little head. I asked what time she was born and if she really was a girl! :)
She was SO quiet and calm, right from the start. We hope this is a trait she keeps up ;) There was nothing quite like seeing her open her little eyes & look up into mine.
Everything went so well after that. Emma weighed in at 10 lbs. 3 oz. 21 & 3/4 inches long, We headed home from the birth center a few hours later, with our precious bundle of PINK! Emma's brothers love her, and promptly brought her several dinosaurs and other toys as tokens of affection!
(and as a side note, when I was no longer in labor, my hubby told me another detail of the midnight police visit to our babysitters - apparently they were looking for a suspect! ACK! Glad he waited to tell me that, and glad that God was protecting our sitters and kiddos! God is so good!!!)

Emma Bliss Arrives! It's A GIRL!

Praise God for the safe arrival of our baby girl!
Saturday, November 13th, 2010
3:48 a.m.

10 lbs. 3 oz. 21 & 3/4 inches

Life & BabyEmma!

It's been an interesting week, to say the least....

God sent a lot of rain, which was good for the parched ground, but not so good for a leaky roof.
BOTH our cars (which are too small for our family after Emma's arrival) broke down.
The Vacuum Cleaner continued it's breakdown which has been occurring for awhile, resulting in us borrowing my MIL's.
Patrick had a reaction to something (probably cat hair on something from a thrift store) and his eye swelled up really badly.
and as usual, finances were stressful :)

throw in with that all the normal day to day stresses of dealing with children, schooling, housework, etc. etc. - it's been an interesting week, for sure.

Counting our Blessings though:
God provided us with some unexpected gifts of $ for groceries etc.
God provided someone to tow one of our cars, which broke down at James' job.
God provided rides for James after his car broke down, and a way for me to have the car one day, so I could grocery shop (and as it turned out, take Patrick to the doctor for his eye.)
God helped Patrick's eye to un-swell, and there were no other problems.
God provided a vacuum for us to borrow.
There has been no sickness (aside from the eye thing) this week. I hate sickness in my kids or hubby! So grateful everyone has been well.
Sunday School & The Sermon were very timely.....on trials & Grace.
We were able to take a good look inside our hearts, and evaluate what's in there :)
We have three healthy children, who keep us laughing every day! We sure love them.
I sure love my hubby, too. He's a keeper, for sure.

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Aside from that, we are getting so close to Emma's arrival! I'm 33 weeks today. That leaves 7 more weeks! Not long, for sure!
I'm seeing my midwife, Dinah every 2 weeks now. Everything seems to be progressing the way it should.
I've reached the point of being ACHY and UNCOMFORTABLE! :) I asked James last night "Was I this miserable with the boys?" he said I was, and I forgot - and that I'll forget all this when Emma is in my arms, too :)
Sure can't wait for that day! I am so excited to have a little girl, and dress her up! I'm probably the most excited about HEADBANDS! Oh, I love them! I just want to put one on her cute little head and stare at her! (and take lots and lots of pictures!)
I'm anxious to see what she looks like, and if she has dark or light hair. I thought all my kids would have dark hair, but the boys proved me wrong! So, we say, maybe the girl will have dark hair? Who knows!
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Life with the boys is moving right along. Patrick is doing & enjoying school, and both are growing like weeds - and are SO MUCH FUN!
Patrick says the funniest things. On our way to Church one day we saw some cows, and P said "Why do people never take their cows to Church?.....If I grow up I'll have a cow Church. On the front it will say "Cow Church" and on the back "Cows learn about God""
One day Nicolas was touching the wall, and P said "Nicolas is being gentle to the wall! You don't have to be gentle to it Nicolas, because it's not real!!!"
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Fall teaching has started up. James works 12 hr. shifts at The Planet every Thur. Fri. and Sat., as well as e/o Wednesday. Then Church is Sunday, and James teaches/does the orchestra on Monday.
This year we had a child of a former conductor join the group! Some of my friends will remember the Fore family! So fun.
I wrote up a schedule for the days, and for what subjects we would do each day in school. I'm liking having them, although I'm pretty loose as far as some things are concerned.
Patrick "loves math" and he is doing so well with his phonics & reading! It's so exciting.
Nicolas loves Elmo. He calls him "La la" because of the song "Elmo's song" (on youtube, of course!)
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.....and that's about it. I am so grateful for the life God has given me. I am so happy to be married to James, and so grateful for the beautiful children God has given us.

Patrick Sayings & Memories

"Look Mama, there's pieces of sunshine!"

I sang a kids song, and patrick corrected the lyrics. I said, teasingly "Thanks for setting me straight!" and he replied "We're you bumpy?"

"Mama, I said a mean sound to the mopper, because I wanted my broom!" (He isn't supposed to make mean sounds to people when they do things he doesn't like, and the mop was in the way of his broom, so I guess he was confessing, or something!)

Looking at the sticker with a ladybug on his apple he said "I guess they kill ladybugs and make apples." (he has recently become more aware of how animals are killed to be beef, chicken, etc. - in fact, there was one conversation where he said something about "taping the animals back together" after they were killed - and how he didn't want to eat animals!)

sometimes when you have sprite you have a low burp! sometimes when I have the cup, when I have the sprite at Chick-fil-a I have a low burp and a high burp.

If we have a baby girl and she has red hair I think we should name her Madeline!

Patrick said when he grows up he wants to be a lizard! (usually he tells us he doesn't WANT to grow up!)

Nicolas was crying about having to sit on his potty chair, so Patrick ran and got a book and hurried over to show N pictures and "read" him the book. "To make him feel better!" (so sweet to listen to him read to his baby brother...."Yes, Nicowas! It's a BOAT - like in the bathtub....I'll show you! Meanwhile Nicolas is going "row row row!")

Patrick telling Nicolas "how to make a bellybutton":
"They take a string from your Mama's tummy, then they cut it and tie it, and that's how you make a bellybutton, Nicolas! You understand?"
and another time...."See Nicowas? It's a bellybutton! I have one, you have one, Daddy has one! Everyone has one - even mean people." Then a little later I hear "Mama, do mean people have bellybuttons?"

On the way home one day Patrick said "When Nicolas and I get married, we will still be brothers and we can call each other on the phone!......like Daddy and Uncle Joseph!"

We arrived home from shopping and I said "HI HOUSE!!" Patrick replied "It didn't say anything!"

Patrick says "Nicolas, I want to teach you a new word. Can you say "The. The Lord is powerful" Nicolas: "Bah!" Patrick: "You're supposed to say THE, not Bah....The, The, The!"

I heard laughter coming from the boys room and looked in to see Nicolas gleefully throwing binkies in Patricks direction :) (both in their own beds, of course! :) )

It's A Girl! and she has a name!

It's about time I made a new post AND a new baby update!

Well, June 8th we had our routine sonogram, and my sweet husband, who personally prefers to wait to discover the gender (or have sonos for that matter) agreed to let us find out BOY or GIRL! SO.....It's A Girl! Yippee! We are tickled pink!! :)
The day I found out I was pregnant I kept thinking something along the lines of "PLEASE let it be a girl!!!" then a while before we were having the sono, both James and I started to feel like the baby was a girl....not that that means anything!
The day of the sonogram I was so nervous! I thought surely it would be a boy, and I'd be disapointed - which would be terrible!
We really like Dr. Weiss, who did the sono (and Nicolas') and it was nice to see him again. The boys were both really good, so it was a very pleasant experience! We saw our little girl up there, and Dr. Weiss put "I'm a Girl" up on the screen! I was SO surprised and excited! James and I grinned at each other, and he gave me a kiss :) Later I said to the doctor "Are you sure?" He smiled and nodded, showing us the proof :)
I still am not 100% sure he is right, but oh well!

SO, we debated about names. Before we knew it was a girl, I suggested Aria. James LOVED it, but then I decided I didn't like it that much, so we moved on. After knowing she was a girl, I thought of her as Emma. Both the boys would have been Emma, had they been girls, so it's been a favorite name for 4+ years, but James wasn't sure yet. For awhile we called her Evelyn, but about 3 days ago we decided her name!
Baby will be:

Emma Bliss Gallagher
"Complete, Perfect Joy"

John 15:9-11
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.
These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. (complete) "

and, just for fun, here's our boy's names, meanings and "their verse" :)

Nicolas Elliott Gallagher
"Victory of the people, The Lord is my God"

Deuteronomy 20:4
"For the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies,
to give you the victory."

Patrick Ghilcrist Gallagher
"Noble Servant of Christ"

Galations 1:10
"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Yesterday we got her bedding! It's beautiful. Can't wait to finish everything up in her room (and the boys!) and post pictures. I'm surprised at the bedding we chose for her. I usually like "cute" stuff, but this is very delicate and feminine, I think! It's just beautiful. My mom bought it for her, and we both LOVE it! The boys are very excited, especially Patrick! They just moved into the same room last Monday, and it's going great. So cute to see them both together in there. And my mom brought over some matching bedding for them, too! Their theme is trains.
Emma's theme is kind of floral, with a bunny twist :) I'm SO excited! It's so wonderfully strange to walk past her room and see all that pretty pink, girly stuff!!

Well, that's about it for now. Emma is growing well, and moving! Very fun to feel. Some days she moves more than others. I told James she probably just sits in there wide eyed in shock listening to all the noise her brothers are making! ;)

We love you, Emma Bliss! So excited for you to come into our home and your pink little bed! :)

Baby Number Three Thoughts

Baby #3 is on it's way. Technically my due date is October 30th, however, I'm pretty convinced that I need around 42 weeks to cook a baby - which would make my due date more like November 11th. As much as I'd like to *not* go 42 weeks, I do really like the idea of the birth date: 11-12-10 BECAUSE Patrick's birthday is 12-8-05, then Nicolas' is 1-10-09 and if this one was born on the 12th, that would make them all in months following each other, and climbing up from the 8th in two day steps....just a silly little thing I thought of.

We haven't seen the midwife yet. Still trying to figure out all those details, plus it didn't make much sense to go until we could try to hear a heartbeat. I'll be relived when we hear that! I've never really been one to wait to tell the news, even after having two miscarriages that were pretty early on (One was 6ish weeks and the other the baby died at 7ish weeks, but I think maybe my body didn't realize it till later?) but, I do feel a little bad talking about "when the new baby comes!" to Patrick, because maybe something will happen....BUT, something could happen anytime, right? So, we might as well enjoy the time that God gives each of our children!

Patrick really wants a sister, however he is seems excited when we talk about it possibly being a boy, too. If it's a boy, we are planning on naming him William Alec. That's what we thought about naming Nicolas, but one day I realized that I just wanted to name him Nicolas soooo badly, and my sweet hubby was won over! :) We're so glad we named him that, too. He is such a little Nicolas! :) James still really likes the name William Alec though, and it seems that it shall be for our 3rd son, if that is what we have now or maybe even if one should come at a later point!
Actually, most everyone I talk to hopes this baby is a girl!
I go back and forth. In one way I'm really ready for a girl (I think!) but on the other hand, three boys sounds like such fun!!!
I know that God has already picked out the gender of this sweet little person, and has placed him or her perfectly in our family as a boy or girl - so I'll be delighted either way!
I'm hoping to find out ahead of time. I like to be prepared!

Some days I feel overwhelmed thinking about all the responsibilities that I have such a hard time keeping up with already, and don't know how I'll keep it all up with another wee one.
But the thing that is the hardest for me right now is how I feel about myself and my weight. I am really depressed about it. It affects my relationship with my husband, and even how I feel about going out to walmart and such.
When I was pregnant with Patrick, I was similar to what I weigh now. After Patrick I lost SO much weight, mostly due to all my diet restrictions due to my gallbladder problem. When I had my gallbladder taken out, I was no longer restricted on what I could eat, and I gained back some of the weight I lost. Then I got pregnant with Nicolas. I don't even know how much I gained with him. After Nicolas I did exercise some....but then I stopped, and somehow, now I find myself near my old original weight and pregnant, with only the possibility of gaining more weight looming in my future. I feel like I already am so big and awful looking, that I won't be able to bear how I'll look when I'm 40-42 weeks pregnant! Of course I'm going to *try* to only gain a minimal amount this time, so maybe that will help....but I didn't gain that much with Patrick, and I looked SO....well, ya know.
I also find myself back at the basic worries I had when I was newly pregnant with Nicolas - will I be able to do this? I felt like maybe I had a better chance my second time around, because I did weigh less than my first pregnancy - but now I'm at a similar weight to my first pregnancy - and that labor had some problems....of course that's a whole 'nother subject, because different people have different opinions on weight and labor and birth PLUS my gallbladder really threw a wrench in my first labor and delivery.

So, that's the extremely detailed version of my thoughts on pregnancy right now :) aside from those things, we are so delighted that another little person is coming to join our family. Patrick and Nicolas are so so so much fun - and we know that another wee one will only add the the wonderfulness! :)

Beyond what I could Ask or Think

Tonight my heart is full. I am blessed beyond what I could ever ask or even think.
God's way and will is perfect.

He is creative, and the variety of people and experiences that He puts into our life add so much "spice" to everyday ordinary things!

Like these two little boys:I always wanted a bunch of little boys. I love little boys. Little men, who one day will grow up and sweep some girl off her feet ;)

My boys are so different. They look different. They have different personalities. In a way they remind me of day and night. Could my heart love either one more? I could just eat them up!

I love my husband so much. God showed His tender mercy and love to me in giving me James.

From the time I was a little girl I felt something in my heart for him. But I was often distracted, and had a hard time making up my mind. But now, I know that there was no one else for me. God made us for each other, and I am so blessed by the unconditional love that my sweet James shows me daily! I am so glad to have him as my best friend and love for life!

Thank You God, for some of the sweetest gifts You have given me!

Hello 2010

So I suppose I'm rather late in posting a new years post :) but I'm excited about 2010!

I have great hopes for it!

It's just the beginning of the second month of the new year. It's a whole, fresh start, and I love it! I'm attempting to read my Bible through this year, which will be a first for me.

My "goal" of sorts this year, is to "put God first" I've already failed at that more than once, but by God's grace, no matter how many times I fail and fall down, I WILL get up again, and keep going.

I have other hopes and goals for this year, but I'm hoping that by putting God first that the other things might just naturally fall into place more.

I feel fairly happy with the way my "goals" from 2009 worked out. I'm glad that I didn't fail at all of them, at least! :) lol. I did not make enough spiritual headway though, and I'm hoping this year will be different.

Today I'm feeling very encouraged, because for the last three days I've been getting up and staying up when James goes to work. I have a good chunk of time before the boys get up, and it's WONDERFUL! I have time to read, get my Bible reading in, shower, pray, make the bed - catch up on FB :) I think it really helps my days to be more productive.

So, WELCOME 2010! My hope is that this will be a year of drawing closer to my Savior, learning to stay close to Him day by day, walking in His strength and grace, REJOICING always, LOVING my family, and LETTING GO of things past.

Looking UP in 2010!

Patrick Sayings!

He told me that in one of his books there was a different lion with fluffy hair all around it's ears.....like Grandma :)

"We are sitting close to each other because we are brothers"

"When I didn't have Nicolas, I was alone. But now that I have him I'm not alone."

Driving past a funeral home "There's the place where you die!!!" "When you die are you sad or mad or happy?"

"Kanga, (he pretends I'm Kanga, he is Christopher Robin and Nicolas is Roo...and Daddy is TIGGER!) i have a lot of things to talk about."
me: Like what?
"Like everything!" me: Did you see that little girl at the park? she had a big flower on her head. Do you know what her name was?
"What was her name?"
me: Mia
"Well, I call her flower"
me: Wasn't she pretty?
"No."

"I take a bite, then i say goodbye to my peanut butter and jelly cause it's gonna go in my tummy!"

"My tears are big and Nicowas' are little?"

"When im grown up I wont need my toys." (but mostly he says he doesn't want to grow up whenver we talk about growing up! He used to say it was because he just wanted to be Nicowas' brother! :) )

"My little pretend sister that's called Sally Sue only takes ONE nap!"

Patrick heard the story of Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt. Later in the day he asked me "....Why did she have to turn into a peppermint???"

Talking to Patrick about having a soft heart (in relation to spiritual things) he asked me "Is my heart bumpy?"

Talking about a monkey's tail, and how Patrick didn't have one. Then Patrick asked "Did I have one when I was a baby?"

Will my birthday be for 40 days?

"Can i read the Bible today? Actually, it's kind of dangerous, so I don't want to. It has kind of dangerous stories."

"Gettin married is kind of dangerous." (seeing a pic of me and Rachel pregnant at the same time....) "Who was in (aunt Rachel's) tummy when (nicolas) was in yours?"
me: Daniel.
"I didn't care for that because I wanted to play with him!"

"What does it feel like when God is in your heart?"

"Is there vit. C in Heaven?"

(looking at "The little engine that could"....) "Some of these trains don't know God. But the blue one knows God."

My Baby is 1!!!

It was one year ago today that God gave our family the gift of Nicolas!

One year ago today I gave birth to my sweet, precious baby boy. My second born.

I remember the day so well. I have been recounting the events of last year over and over.

It was a Friday. I was so glad it was almost the weekend.

I had a happy day with Patrick.

The weather was beautiful.

I bounced on my birthing ball, talked to my midwife, and ran a last minute "errand" which involved picking up my little sil's Anna and Gloria.

I walked stairs in the Hilton Hotel parking lot.

We fed the ducks.

I took the girls home.

The contractions started!

So many little details to remember, and all part of that wonderful, special day.

I loved Nicolas' birth. It was so beautiful! It was such a healing experience for me, too.

It all felt so quiet, calm and peaceful. When he was born I was so anxious to see what he looked like! 9 months he had grown inside me, but now was the time for his life on the "outside" to begin!

I remember when I was pregnant with him, he was so active. I remember sitting on the couch a lot of evenings, about the same time. He would always perk up and start thumping and kicking. I would say sometimes "Mama loves you."

I still say that to him now....and I like to imagine that he remembers me saying it then, too. That somehow it seems familiar to him and makes him feel safe and loved, like maybe it did when he was inside of me.

Nicolas is indeed a precious gift from God. I am so glad that He gave him to us.

My sweet, wild little all-boy boy! He is so active and full of life! yet so tender and loving, too.

He has grown up soooo fast.

He began this teeny tiny little love, who I held on my chest hour after hour - then suddenly he transformed (right before my eyes, yet somehow without me noticing!) into a one year old!

He is SO much fun to have around. He is full of JOY. He squeals and screams...and he WALKS! He took his first official steps on December 29th, and has kept at it since! Today on his birthday he took 7 steps! It is so strange and so cute to see him walking around!

Nicolas, I am so glad God made you and gave you to me. You make my life so much richer and happier by being in it. You add so much to my life. You have changed me and helped to make me who I am today. We wanted you so very, very much, and are so glad God has lent you to us for awhile! I pray that God will give you many years to love Him and serve Him, and that you will be the "Victory of the people through the Lord who is your God."

In a way, it's like you are our victory, through God's grace. We lost two little ones before you. After that life seemed very fragile. When we found out that you existed, we didn't know if we'd get to keep you. But God chose to let you grow and grow, until that very special day, one year ago today......January 10th.

That was the day you entered our lives and our hearts, and we've never been the same since! We wouldn't want it any other way!

Happy 1st Birthday, Nicolas!! I love you with all my heart. I can't believe your one!

In honor of this most important day and event - here is a slideshow of Nicolas' 1st year of life!