The Loss of A Friend

On Thursday morning, a childhood friend of ours was murdered in Garland.
Today my Mom, Patrick and I attended his funeral (also the funeral of his best friend, who was also murdered that same morning along with Steven)
I sat there today in the big beautiful Church, grieving the loss of this person. I hadn't seen him for years, but he was a big part of my childhood. As a matter of fact, he had a huge crush on me when we were little :) We would often go to Steven's house, to play with him and his sister and brother. I remember seeing the things he had "created" with legos and whatnot. I remember playing in their backyard....making baskets together....eating peanut butter balls....

There was a slideshow of photos shown. One photo in particular really brought the tears to my eyes. It was from the years that we had known each other well. A little skinny boy, with scrunched up happy eyes, and a mop of wavy hair. To me, that was him.
But that was only him as I had last known him. He had gone on and grown up, as have I, and he was a unique individual, who I really no longer knew.
Yet I had known him, and now he is no longer living on this earth. The same age as me...and now, gone. How strange, and how very sad.

His funeral was so beautiful. I loved the songs, and I was so encouraged by what the pastor there said. So much Godly encouragement came from such deep deep sorrow.
It would have been so easy for that service to have been otherwise.
Two lives just taken away, in one short moment.
Such circumstances open the doors to all things - including bitterness and hate - yet I did not hear hate and bitterness expressed towards the teens who committed this horrible, horrible sin called murder.
Instead, beautiful things were remembered of those who we loved, and the pastor enouraged us all with the truths from God's word.
Truth like, there are no accidents. Everything that happens, God already knew about. It was no surprise to Him. Although we cannot always know why He would allow such things to happen, there is a reason. This separation is not forever. Someday our dear friends will be re-united with their loved ones....and that Steve and Matthew are in Heaven. Their bodies were but shells. The real Steven and the real Matthew are with the Lord. We do not grieve for them, but for ourselves....

yet, tonight I am home. I still have my husband, my brother, my parents, my son.
I find myself thinking about the family who does not have their husband, their daddy. The family who no longer has their son and their brother. My darkest imaginations, I'm sure, cannot even begin to compare one degree to the horrible pain, sadness and deep, deep loss they must feel. I hope that God pours out His grace upon them, and holds them in His arms. I hope they feel Him near each and every moment.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We love you.

Father's Day!!!

To James, the father of my children....

I love you so much, and couldn't ask for a better Daddy for our babies. Although we only can hold one in our arms right now, we will always hold our dear little babies in heaven in our hearts - and we look forward to holding our newest little baby in our arms, in only about 6 months!!!

I love to watch you with Patrick. The way you play with him, and create strange and exciting games! :) The way you act SO silly together....it is part of your special relationship. I'm so glad you have a relationship with him. His little heart loves you with all the love it's little two-year-old-ness can muster.

I love to see you read together....see you hold him in your arms - his littles hand wrapped around your neck. I love to see his eyes light up when you arrive home. I love to hear him laugh as you tickle him.

You are a good Daddy, and I am grateful to you for all you do for us. We love you!!!

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To my Daddy....

Thank you for all your sacrifices that you made for us. We are so grateful to you, and love you very much! Thanks for paying for endless musical instruments and lessons, attending recitals, and taking us to the zoo. Thanks for playing with us, and reading the Bible to us.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

Baby Update!

Last weeks appointment went well. We didn't try to listen for a heartbeat, as it's still too early. Next month we should be able to hear it, and I will be happy about that!

Dinah gave me a different due date, making our little one due in 2009 - not exactly what James is hoping for, due to tax reasons, but oh well! My new due date is January 4th, 2009. Of course the baby could come earlier, so we shall see :) Dinah will be out of town sometime at the beginning of January, which would mean I'd have to deliver with a different midwife. So, that is in the Lord's hands, too. He knows best!

So, tomorrow I will be 11 weeks along. Only one more week until my second trimester!! I sure hope this tired-ness wears off then! James was kind enough to let me have over an hour nap today and I was STILL tired this evening!

Busy Days

Lots of things going on! In life, and in my brain :)

Life is sure a funny thing. So much happens and changes, yet there isn't always time to sit down and think through it all - and sometimes it seems there isn't even time to take it all in! Then before you know it, you've moved on to a new season! I guess that's why it's so important to cherish the moment you are living in, and to make the best use of the time God gives you!

So, for those who didn't know, we are expecting another baby! Due about the 29th of December! which would make me close to 11 weeks. Hopefully all is well with the little love. I haven't had any signs of problems, but I'll be glad when we can know "for sure." I have my first appointment tomorrow. I'm also hoping to find out (later on of course, but before the birth!) the gender! We waited until Patrick was born to find out, and I think I'd like to know this time around!

Here' a pic I took at 2 months.

This is the first "pregnancy" pic I took when I was pregnant with Patrick. (about 6 weeks?)

Even though I still have weight to lose, (eventually) I have lost weight since then. My wedding dress is too big for me now, too. So, even though I'll be getting even bigger for awhile now, at least I'm better off at the starting line than I was last time around!

Seems like we've kept quite busy of late. I started singing in an ensemble at Church, and we visited the evening service yesterday. We are also looking at taking Patrick to sunday school, since we found out one of us can go with him! I'm so excited! I think he will love it, and it will be great for him to hear about God from others and with others!

James has started helping Anna (his little sis) to learn her driver's handbook.

I took on another student, making my grand total 2 :) that's about enough for me though :) I don't like to have something on every day of the week!

So, keeping up with the normal stuff (or not :) ) and the extra stuff is filling up our days! The weeks seem to be flying by! I'm sure it helps that I have a car again! :) Yay for carpools!!

Last week James was doing some more microsoft training, and Patrick and I went with him some. It was fun! We like to be around him :) (and have the car :) )

Thankfully James passed BOTH the tests! I'm so proud of him! He even got a perfect score on the second one!! One more test until he is MCSC... or some arrangement of letters, which I can't remember exactly at the moment. It means something good though!! :)

Tuesday I took Patrick to the lab to have more blood work done. So glad everything went well, since I was of course nervous. I don't like to have to do that. He was a brave little soul though. I told him about it before hand, and he was quite prepared (and excited at the thought of getting a sprite afterwards, too!) When we got up in the chair, he even tried to put that thing they tie around your arm on by himself. When the lady actually tied it on, he started to wimper etc., but tried to be brave. It was so sweet.

I'm excited about our anniversary coming up next month! I'm kind of hoping we can get away for 2 nights (we usually go away for a night) but at the same time we are both awfully chicken about leaving "the whack" (paddy whack :) ) Next year though, we'll hopefully have a new little one who is about 5 months old, so we would either get away for a short time, or go away with the baby (or not go away at all?!) and next year it will be FIVE years!! So, we shall see.

Well, as always, feel free to check out Patrick's blog (lots of recent pics!!) http://www.life-with-patrick.blogspot.com/

....and I shall leave you with a pic of my two boys. How I love my life with them!