I love you, Mama!

Tomorrow is a very special day. Tomorrow is my Mother's birthday!

My Mom is a very special and unique person.

She had many adventures growing up.

When we were little, she would tell us stories about those adventures-we loved to hear stories about when our parents were little!

I was very fascinated with our family history, and would make family trees and such-I would also pour over old family photographs.

Here's my mom - Suzanne. Isn't she beautiful?

Some of the stories my mom told me that stick in my mind would be....when she and her sister tied their little brother to the bed--and threw books at him!.....roller skating through the school library.....that infamous meal she prepared of "dog food spaghetti".....the time the hood of her car flew up while she and Fred were driving.....being chased by another car on those curvy roads in CA.....all her Van and Martha adventures....Meeting and marrying Poppie.....

Four years after Mama and Pops were married, Jedidiah was born. About 22 months later, I arrived.

Mama, you were and are a great mom!

You sacrificed so much for us, and poured all of your energy, time and money into giving us the best life you could!...and It was a wonderful life.

Thank you for everything you did for us. I know the doctor told you we wouldn't be terribly grateful-and maybe we weren't when we were younger-but I am now. I'm grateful for every day that you gave of yourself for us. THANK YOU!

Thank you for teaching us about Jesus, how to be kind to each other, how to work, how to love and how to play!

-------------------------------------

Other memories of my mom....

Reading aloud to us. I can still remember sitting around in the living room on Hackamore street-reading about Mrs. Happy! :) ....and the tickle monster books! How could I forget those!

Wonderful birthday parties - I especially remember and appreciate my "Art Birthday" What a lot of work you went to! Just to give you an idea of how wonderful she is...she made aprons for every kid that came to the party-and this was no ordinary apron! It had MANY little pockets on it, and every time you wrote something nice on another child's paper (that they took home) you got to pick another marker/paintbrush/other like item to place in the pocket on your apron! The aprons had a little picture on them, too - accented with puff paint, I think - in other words, a lot of work!

Mama always made birthdays and Christmas so amazing! Wonderful, wonderful memories!

She was always willing to talk to us. She cared about how we were doing inside-very much.

She worked hard to teach us. I remember laying on my parents bed studying the wisdom books. Mama made it fun, too!

Mama wanted us to have music lessons. She took us faithfully each week to not just piano lessons, but string lessons, and sometimes flute too! She helped us practice, talked to our teachers, and attended our recitals.

Mama always encouraged creativity. She loved me to make things on the computer, and was always very encouraging about whatever I made-making me feel very special. She loved my drawings, which also made me feel very special.

My mom loves animals. We have had so many animals growing up! Seems like we were hardly ever satisfied with having just one of each kind, either. We had lots of rabbits, finches, two parakeets, TONS of kittens and cats, dogs, sheep.....talk about adventures! What fun!!!

My Mom is sentimental. She saves nearly everything :) She still has my toys from when I was little. Even though it means she has a lot of stuff, which I don't like for her-I must admit that I love seeing my old toys! And as much as I wouldn't want a house full of things-I love her house. I love to visit there, and just sit and talk with her.

------------------------------------

When I grew older, my mom and I became wonderful friends. Oh the times we had! Movie nights, McDonald's trips, various events to prepare and plan for together-long drives to Dallas together....

Then the time came for me to get married.

Our relationship changed after that. There were painful times as we all adjusted-but at the end of that "adjustment period" things turned out so beautifully-better then ever, actually!

My mom still sacrifices for me, to this very day. She has given of her self, her time, her money-even letting me use "her car" so that I can go places, while she stays home.

She always is willing to listen to me talk-about things that make me sad, happy-or things I'm confused about. She offers good advice too! I love to talk to my mom. Whether it's about an important spiritual or family topic-or just chit chat. We aren't phone people - but we love to talk in person or on IM.

Then the happy day came when we made her a Grandma-or in her case, a "Grandmerry"

I have to say she thrives being a Grandmerry! And such a Grandma she is! I know she loves my son-and I love to see that love in action! I love to watch them together. I'm so grateful for the influence of my mom on my son's life. I'm so happy to see them together.

Mama, I want you to know you are loved.

I want you to know that your life thus far has not been in vain. You have spent nearly 31 years walking beside and encouraging your husband. You have spent over 27 years caring for, training and loving your two children. You have spent a little over 1 and 1/2 years pouring yourself out for your grandchildren - you have been pouring yourself out for people for your entire life-from the time you were 5 and caring for your siblings, until this very day.....

You have made a difference - God is using you - and I love and appreciate you so very much!

I know it wasn't always easy, but there are many grateful people for what you did-and what you are doing now! Not just your children and your husband, but your children-in-law, your grandchildren, and many, many dear friends!

May God bless you on your birthday! May It be a truly wonderful day for you, and may you feel loved and special-because you are! I don't know what I would do without you!

Happy Birthday ~ I love you, Mama!!!!

It's Father's Day!

A Time to Wish A Happy Father's Day to Three Special Men.....All who are a "Daddy" to someone!

I'll start first with My Dad:

Dennis Beeman.

Here we are together, just about 25 years ago! :)

You have been a great Daddy! You have worked so hard your entire life to provide for us. This shows us that you love us!

You attended numerous music recitals, and faithfully took pictures of each event :)

We were (and are) proud of you and "your building"! I remember with fondness the many times we spent there....climbing around in the ceiling, playing in the back room during Mama's trip to FL--photocopying ourselves, sitting at our own desks....going to all those special floors--the ones with cokes and ice, and the fancy ones, too! What wonderful memories!

I remember the day you gave me away to James....

To this day you continue to sacrifice for us. Sometimes it's in the form of your time or your hard earned money. Sometimes it's how you come over after work to babysit so we can go out on a date--even though I'm sure you are dead tired!

I love you, Daddy! Thank you for everything.

Next is my Father-in-Law:

Jim Gallagher.

Such a sense of humor-and the man who is "Daddy" to my wonderful hubby!

I have many memories of you, Dad. Lot's of funny quotes.....which I shall keep to myself ;)

I appreciate your heart for the Lord, and your desire for people to be real and have a real relationship with Him.

We love you, Dad!

And Finally, my Husband:

James Gallagher.

I've loved this picture for a long time. Doesn't he look like a little turtle?!

He's the little boy in the middle of the three....

The morning Patrick was born....What a wonderful Daddy you were and are!You too have sacrificed much in your role "daddy-hood" I know that you will continue to sacrifice for your son, too. I appreciate how you have laid aside some of your dreams because of your love and commitment to Patrick and I.

I love to watch you play with Patrick. You love him so. It melts and warms my heart to see that love in action...and to hear you call him "buddy."

I remember the first time you called him that, shortly after his birth. For some reason I was surprised-and oh so touched!

I love to watch and listen as you rock and sing to Patrick. Such a loving and tender father....yet so able to teach our son to be "rough and tough" too!

I appreciate your desire to train Patrick "in the way he should go."

I love it that you pray for Patrick to become a Christian someday.

I remember those early days of adjusting to a new little person in our lives. You were always so good with Patrick - and always so patient and loving with me!

I cannot tell you how much I love you, and what a wonderful father I think you are.

I hope that Patrick is like you when he grows up. I want him to have that same gentleness and sweetness that you have.

Thank you for being Patrick's Father!

Thank you Dad and Daddy for being our fathers, and Patrick's grandfathers!
and a special "Happy Father's Day" to our other family members....Uncle Curtis, Joseph and my brother, Jedidiah!! (his first child will be born in the fall!)

Happy Father's Day everyone!

May God bless you all!

It's June...

Here it is already June 2007! Where has all the time gone....

Just a little over 7 months ago I came home from a shopping trip and saw this....The day was October 21st, 2006...

On that shopping trip, I'd bought a pregnancy test....and it turned out to be positive. I was pregnant! I was shocked and surprised and excited...and probably a lot of other emotions, too!

That evening I gave my husband a card that told him about our second child.and about a week later, we were sharing the happy news with our family and friends...That was a busy and changing time for us. James had been having major career shifts, and had started working at a temp. job just about a month before we found out about Baby G #2

Well, about two weeks after finding out about our new baby on the way, James started a new full time job. It was a little over an hour away from our house, and made for some big adjustments-including a move on the horizon.

It was also during this time that we traveled to CA for my cousin's wedding. My brother also got engaged during that trip. His wedding was scheduled to be just a little over a month after that (he was in school, and they could get married during the holidays or wait until Spring break or later....)

It was during this trip that I experienced the first signs that something might be wrong with our baby...

A few days after arriving home, I went in for a sonogram.....I went alone, with Patrick. I was going to have someone watch him, but it fell through at the last minute. The receptionist watched him for me while I had the sonogram. I'd never had a sonogram for a baby before....how sad that my very first chance to see my baby before birth would bring such terrible news.....

The news that our little one would not be joining our family. It had gone to Heaven to be with Jesus.

I laid there and think I said "alright" or "Ok"

I paid the lady, I went and got Patrick from the receptionist and I walked out to my car....I went to James' work and we talked and I cried some. Then we went to get some lunch at McDonald's together.

Soon after I arrived home, my parents stopped by...

The next day was Thanksgiving...

My parents came over and brought a meal, then later we went to James' parent's house. We didn't talk a lot about the baby, but Dad Gallagher gave us something that a friend had given him for us....this poem...

"Precious One"

Out of my womb and into His arms Safe from this world, Precious, safe from harm

You'll live all my years in my memory But in glory you'll live for eternity

Innocent, Beautiful, Tender One You've many an Angel to watch you run

And many a Saint who will offer care But the joy of all joys is that Christ is there

This Christ who will hold you while we're apart Is the Christ who is mending my broken heart

So run free, my Precious, now laugh and sing You are safe in the gardens of Christ our King

While here I'll keep serving my God and then When He calls I'll be with you , my love, again!

Norma Gonzalez

About a week later, I lost my baby. I was home alone with Patrick. James was on his way home from work, but had stopped by the apartments we were thinking about moving to. He was calling me and trying to ask me some important questions, but I was having a hard time knowing what to tell him.....

....Just a few days later I drove with my mom to Garland and looked at the potential apartment. A few days after that it was final. Our moving date was set for December 16th.

Just about 9 days after losing our baby was Patrick's first birthday.

The day after that we had a small, mostly family party for him. The only "non-family" people were our friends the Duncans. The Duncan's have two children. Their youngest and Patrick were born exactly one month apart....

Some things were already packed up...I remember that during P's party, our landlord stopped by to show our house to a prospective renter....

In the week between P's party and our moving date, I went into Dallas twice for thing related to my teeth. on my second trip I got a root-canal....It had been a LONG drive to the dentists, and after driving all the way back home, I pretty much had to turn around and drive to Garland to sign papers with my husband. That night we looked at the apartment, and I felt very blue....

Two day later we moved. We moved from a three bedroom house to a two bedroom apartment - on the third floor!

Things were so busy during that time! Christmas came, then my brother's wedding in Wisconsin on the 30th....wow life just whizzed by....and here we are. It's June.

We didn't know exactly when our baby would be born....The earliest it might have arrived was late May--and the latest early July....and it's awful not knowing exactly when "he" should have arrived....

So June means that it would of nearly been baby time for me....if Jamie hadn't died.

If Jamie had lived, we would be adding another sweet little one to our family. Patrick would have a little brother (or sister!)

I wonder what he would have looked like? It's amazing to think that back when Jamie went to Heaven, he was a little person....If he had continued to grow for 7 more months, he would have been arriving sometime around now....he would have had soft little baby skin and maybe some fuzzy, soft hair. He would of had little eyes that opened and closed and stared into ours.

We'd be back to waking up in the night for feedings, and sleeping with a cuddly, warm newborn between us.....We'd be learning about living life with two children.

But here it is June...and there is no tiny little baby's presence here. Patrick has grown so much - I know he's still a baby, but you know-he's not a little baby....and he is all alone without any siblings. He loves other children so much. I took him to the park yesterday and he laughed and laughed at the antics of some boys playing.

June is here....when it passes, Jamie's chapter will really be closed....how it hurts to think about that. He should be arriving now, but he won't be. We will go on without him forever.

It's rather a confusing thing to lose a baby to miscarriage. So real-yet unreal at the same time. Feeling so many things.......goodness, life is complex....or maybe I'm just complex!

Maybe June will be a healing month....